This morning as I was in the shower, a song came up on Pandora. It was "Sundress" by Ben Kweller. At first, I didn't recognize it, but after about 10 seconds I remembered everything that this song reminded me of. When I was a junior in high school, I used to listen to this song about eight times a day. My mind immediately turned to those high school years.
When I was in high school, I had zero confidence in myself. I didn't feel beautiful and I felt perpetually overweight. I didn't have friends who lifted me up regularly. I had friends who laughed at my religion and who made fun of my family. I felt like girls at church judged me because I was different and didn't fit their "Molly Mormon" stereotype and my family didn't have a lot of money. I dated a boy who pressured me to do certain things because his best friend "did all that with his girlfriend all the time." I had to work at a greasy burger place for three years while not having a car of my own. I didn't respect myself or my body. I would go hungry at night because I felt pressure to be a twig. I felt like I couldn't truly be Wyatte. Worst of all, I didn't feel God's love for me because I wasn't showing him proper respect. I wanted to get away, move somewhere, but I was stuck there.
When the opportunity showed itself to move to Salt Lake City with my best friend, I immediately knew that I HAD to go. It was now or never, and I felt like there was a life waiting for me there that would bring me some kind of happiness. And it was all true. I met a man who treated me like I was the princess of the Earth. He didn't kiss me until 14 days after we started seeing each other. He always told me I was beautiful and I deserved the absolute best. That was all so new to me, and it took me a while to realize that I do deserve something great because I do have a lot to offer.
Right now, I could care less about clothes, shopping, or blowing money on the latest trends. I love food and I will never starve myself again. I have been blessed financially and don't have to worry about money right now. I surround myself with good people who lift me up. I've been able to see and do SO much. I have a man who loves me endlessly and treats me like a queen.
When I got out of the shower this morning, I looked in the mirror and thought of how much my life had changed. I don't really know that girl in high school anymore. I feel like right now, I am Wyatte, the weird, food-loving, singing, dancing, Mormon freak I was always meant to be. And I haven't been happier.
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